Some things are meant to be

agirlsbildungsroman:

How am I supposed to pack for college when I have waaaaay too many clothes. Bloody hell

Wow your life is so hard…..

loafersandheels:

afroscot:

Carlton dropping some real shit

Always LOVED this scene.

So relevant

If I was there. Snapchat would be the last thing on my mind

1. In 2nd grade a boy called me fat, there hasn’t been a day since then, when I loved my body
completely.

2. At 18 I found myself locked in a restaurant freezer with a boss who was trying to use his hands to convince me that sex with him was part of the job.

3. There were nights after you left, when I filled my bed with everything that you touched, hoping to fill it with something familiar.

4. The moon warned me not to come see you that night, it hung low trying to touch me. When I
left you, it asked me how could I hate myself so much.

5. When you didn’t call I had to delete every memory of you I had, but you still lingered in the cracks of my walls.

6. Someone once told me that my body was a war zone. The day that I finally understood what that meant, I was bleeding from my forearms trying to recreate the crucifixion.

7. West Indian women are known for having children but being too strong to have men. I’ve never understood the fear some people have of women who expect as opposed to women who hope.

8. That night I wanted to drink until my nose bled, but you were best at shaming my sadness.

9. I hated my legs for never being fast enough to escape the cannibalistic hands of clawing men.

10. I am wrinkled from all of the times I’ve folded myself to fit inside someone else.

11. She loved me so deeply, but I could never love her back. I tried though, I promise I did.

12. I haven’t cried in almost two years, and every time I see you, I pray for rain to end this drought, alas, I am still desolate.

13. My dreams sometimes make me physically ill.

14. I am a glass house and you are David.

15. That night I got so high, I hallucinated hell, I promised God that was my last time.

16.I drank so much that night I thought wine was pouring out of my eyes.

17. I’ve searched for God, but he is elusive and I’ve been destroyed by my own hands.

18. I wanted you, but you didn’t want me.

19. I still want you.

20. I don’t know my history, and now I don’t know myself.

21. I wrestled you out of that quarter, and then you wrestled me out of my virginity.

22. Forgiveness exists, now to convince myself that nothing is too great to be forgiven, that is the trick.

23. The late night bus driver asked me why I was so sad, I asked him what he meant, he said “when you got on my bus, you brought sadness with you”

24. You asked me who hurt me so badly, and I was too proud to say it was you.

25. I clamored drunkenly into the back of the cab, the driver was playing Surah Al Mulk, flooded in shame I whispered astaughfirullah to myself beneath my breath. The driver turned to me and said “Allah is forgiving and we are all weak sometimes”..it changed my life.

26. I had a panic attack when I saw you in the mall holding her small perfect hand.

27. There are doors that I’ve closed forever, if they were ever opened, I am almost certain I would die.

28. My mother hates my writing and it reduces me to a sprawling mess on my bedroom floor, often.

29.I have frequently looked up synonyms for broken.

30. I am scared of my own darkness sometimes.

31. How will I teach my daughter to be nothing like her mother?

32. When the winter comes, I am almost always as bare as a forest.

33. I have to learn to forgive myself.

34. I am so many people, all at once, fighting to survive. This is why I am a perpetual civil war.

35. Blood doesn’t scare me, but disappointing my father does, and my God, have I been known to
disappoint.

36. The hundreds of missing indigenous women in my country, make me feel like I’ve lost hundreds of mothers.

Key Ballah, 36 Flavors of Self Loathing (via keywrites)

This is pathetic. No joke

I get annoyed when people claim they will never get over their first love. YES U WILL ONCE YOU GET RID OF THAT MENTALITY

matthew-pina:

When people tell me god is mysterious I agree. Mysteriously similar to random chance. Almost as if he wasn’t even there.

Yea cuz u can totally compare a coin to Allah……I hate people like this

matthew-pina:

When people tell me god is mysterious I agree. Mysteriously similar to random chance. Almost as if he wasn’t even there.

Yea cuz u can totally compare a coin to Allah……

I hate people like this

Were you born into a Muslim family or did you find Islam later in your life? How old were you when you found Islam (if you found it later in life)? :)

jasmineeflowersss:

This is a great question! And I’m gonna have to give a really long answer lol (but I hope it’s great too!)

I wasn’t born into a muslim family, sadly, but I found Islam, or rather, my journey of experiences that led me to accepting Islam started in 2010 when I would have been 13 years old.

In 2010 a number of things happened to me that would change my life forever, I was extremely suicidal at the time because of reasons I don’t want to talk about nor are necessary too, and one day something happened that was really really horrible and I left school that day planning on going home and killing myself. Now let me tell you I was determined. This was the end for me. I raced home, I still remember walking down the school steps that day.
When I got home I started to think of ways to kill myself, I poured a cup of bleach and tried to drink it, I strangled myself with rope in my room feeling the blood pulsate to my head and as I got dizzy and felt like I was going to pass out my body always made me let go of the rope.
Eventually, I decided to take some pills. I grabbed two boxes of pills from my mums room, the first was a box of anti-histemenes, pretty basic not that powerful allergy drugs, I took the whole box which was around 18-20 pills.
The next box was these extra strength pain killers (to let you know how serious they were even at 13 my mum wouldn’t let me even take 1 of these as she said they were way too strong and would just hurt me) later on I found out even taking just 7 of these pills could have caused death. Anymore death would most likely be certain.
I remember taking the box and believe me I wanted to die so badly that day these would have looked like the perfect option for me, infact I took two of the pills on the day but for some reason my appetite for them completely went. I didn’t know what it was, I didn’t know anything at that point I just knew that something was stopping my desire for the pills; it wasn’t that I didn’t want to die anymore; I mostly certainly did still want to die but the appetite for the pills just completely went.
I know some people will be skeptical, but I truly believe in that moment God didn’t want me to die, and he willed for me to live past this event and stopped me from taking those pills.
After the event long story short I was rushed to hospital and had to stay there overnight and for a few days and then eventually was released but had to attend therapy.
It was after the year of therapy finished that I truly started to look back and reflect on what happened; I remembered the feeling that came over me when I no longer wanted to take the second packet of pills and why for some reason when I still even then felt the desire to die did I not take them? Why?
It was then that I started looking for God, I started looking Into Christianity first as a few people in my family are Christian but it felt excessively hollow and empty to me; personally, I did not feel a connection to Christianity, however by this time I was occasionally praying to god, telling him about my day, how I was feeling, asking for stuff lol.
I don’t know what started my research into Islam, and I really really wish I remembered but I suddenly found myself in a place where every spare second of the day I was logging onto the internet and researching about islam; taking notes on how to pray, learning about hijab, hajj, all sorts of things and was just attaining so much knowledge and agreeing with it, connecting with it and most of all feeling happy within myself when I was obeying the laws of Allah SWT.
Now the final piece of the puzzle was what finally pushed me to become a true believer, by this time I had gone to a Quran shop and the guy hastily made me make my Shahadah-but it felt uncomfortable and rushed and I didn’t feel like my heart was in it.
So I was watching a muslim short film (In Shaa Allah I will post it on my blog soon) about a man who gets killed whilst doing multiple sins. In the movie he goes back and looks on his life and screams at himself to stop doing the haraam, begging and pleading with himself because now he knows the punishment of the grave and the reality of the hereafter. But what truly got to me was after he died, a black screen came up with “EVERY SOUL SHALL TASTE DEATH” and the Quran recitation was played over the top. It struck my soul. It scared me. I felt like I had already brushed death once before and it had lead me all to this moment; to this moment of accepting islam.
I got on the floor, I fell into sujood and I started crying. I started crying to Allah SWT, and I accepted him and Islam as my faith In Shaa Allah for the rest of my life until the day I die with the Shahadah on my lips. It has been a long journey and it is still happening, as all our journeys with Islam only deepen and become richer and richer as we get older.
Thank you for such a great ask!

Omg! I loved reading this

I will never get how people think its okay to kiss their dogs?